Doctor: Hello, Nancy. How are you doing?
Nancy: Just fine, Doc. And you?
Doctor: Busy! What can we do for you today?
Nancy: I was wondering if you could prescribe that new drug, Spiroperonxoactivia?
Doctor: Okay. Why?
Nancy: Because I want to swim. I want to climb cliffs. I want to para sail. I want to cycle, bowl, play tennis, golf, dance, bungee jump, barbecue outdoors. You know, Doc...all that fun stuff.
Doctor: Ooookay, Nancy. Where did you hear about this drug?
Nancy: On TV. And uhh, I saw it in a magazine. Those people look like they are having quite a good time, Doc.
Doctor: Ooookay.
Nancy: Well, they said to ask your doctor.
Doctor: Ooookay.
Nancy: They also said, I should tell you if I have any gastrointestinal problems, bleeding ulcers, high blood pressure, coronary artery disease, cancer, TB, asthma, allergies, sore teeth, chronic pulmonary obstruction, or anal leakage.
Doctor: Ooookay.
Nancy: You know what else they said?
Doctor: Nooooo...
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Your local large chain drugstore is advertising wine and beer at state minimum pricing. No need to go to the drive thru or your local state liquor store anymore, they will not sell you any tobacco products because it's counterproductive to a healthy lifestyle. Saving you from the perils of lung cancer and all the dangers of smoking, but they have no problem helping you boil your liver. Thank you, giant drugstore chains, for looking out for us.
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Nancy: They said this drug might cause coronary artery disease, high blood pressure, cancer, diabetes, dizziness, asthma, hypertension, nervousness, suicide, aching muscles, headaches, blindness, bleeding ulcers, Alzheimer's, it may cripple you, stroke, it might even kill you. But you know what, Doc?
Doctor: Noooo....
Nancy: It has to be worth it. Did you see what a great time those people are having?
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Do we really need a television commercial to tell us what we should ask our medical professional to prescribe for us? Isn't he the one who should suggest to us what we need? Isn't that why he went to medical school? Now we should maintain our right to say yes or no to a prescribed drug, but come on, tell the doctor if you have any preexisting ailments? Doesn't he already know your medical history? If not, FIND A NEW DOCTOR!
Remember tobacco ads? Now the government said those companies are not allowed to air them any longer. Man, they are saving lives by the minute. I know what you are thinking. And no, I do not smoke cigarettes. Do you know how many deaths there are from prescribed drugs, whether it be from the wrong prescription, or drug interaction with another drug, or drug overdose? The numbers might surprise you. Why should these drug companies be allowed to advertise? Do you feel inundated by the number of these ads they run on TV and in magazines? I mean, if anybody has the money to pay for these ads, Lord knows it is the drug companies. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Let us all get our government to put a stop to it.
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If you should happen to become one of those unfortunate consumers of the drug Spiroperoxoactivia, and have severe anal leakage, please contact the law offices of attorneys Lots & Luck by calling
1-888-888-SPIRO.
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God help us all!
Out of Bounds contributor
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