Sunday, April 19, 2015

Ask Your Doctor About Spiroperoxoactivia Today!

Doctor: Hello, Nancy. How are you doing?
Nancy: Just fine, Doc. And you?
Doctor: Busy! What can we do for you today?
Nancy: I was wondering if you could prescribe that new drug, Spiroperonxoactivia?
Doctor: Okay. Why?
Nancy: Because I want to swim. I want to climb cliffs. I want to para sail. I want to cycle, bowl, play tennis, golf, dance, bungee jump, barbecue outdoors. You know, Doc...all that fun stuff.
Doctor: Ooookay, Nancy. Where did you hear about this drug?
Nancy: On TV. And uhh, I saw it in a magazine. Those people look like they are having quite a good time, Doc.
Doctor: Ooookay.
Nancy: Well, they said to ask your doctor.
Doctor: Ooookay.
Nancy: They also said, I should tell you if I have any gastrointestinal problems, bleeding ulcers, high blood pressure, coronary artery disease, cancer, TB, asthma, allergies, sore teeth, chronic pulmonary obstruction, or anal leakage.
Doctor: Ooookay.
Nancy: You know what else they said?
Doctor: Nooooo...

WE INTERRUPT THIS TALL TALE FOR AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE

Your local large chain drugstore is advertising wine and beer at state minimum pricing. No need to go to the drive thru or your local state liquor store anymore, they will not sell you any tobacco products because it's counterproductive to a healthy lifestyle. Saving you from the perils of lung cancer and all the dangers of smoking, but they have no problem helping you boil your liver. Thank you, giant drugstore chains, for looking out for us.

WE NOW RETURN YOU TO YOUR LITERARY PROGRAMMING

Nancy: They said this drug might cause coronary artery disease, high blood pressure, cancer, diabetes, dizziness, asthma, hypertension, nervousness, suicide, aching muscles, headaches, blindness, bleeding ulcers, Alzheimer's, it may cripple you, stroke, it might even kill you. But you know what, Doc?
Doctor: Noooo....
Nancy: It has to be worth it. Did you see what a great time those people are having?

WE INTERRUPT THIS TALL TALE FOR AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE

Do we really need a television commercial to tell us what we should ask our medical professional to prescribe for us? Isn't he the one who should suggest to us what we need? Isn't that why he went to medical school? Now we should maintain our right to say yes or no to a prescribed drug, but come on, tell the doctor if you have any preexisting ailments? Doesn't he already know your medical history? If not, FIND A NEW DOCTOR!

Remember tobacco ads? Now the government said those companies are not allowed to air them any longer. Man, they are saving lives by the minute. I know what you are thinking. And no, I do not smoke cigarettes. Do you know how many deaths there are from prescribed drugs, whether it be from the wrong prescription, or drug interaction with another drug, or drug overdose? The numbers might surprise you. Why should these drug companies be allowed to advertise? Do you feel inundated by the number of these ads they run on TV and in magazines? I mean, if anybody has the money to pay for these ads, Lord knows it is the drug companies. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Let us all get our government to put a stop to it.

WE INTERRUPT THIS IMPORTANT MESSAGE FOR ANOTHER IMPORTANT MESSAGE

If you should happen to become one of those unfortunate consumers of the drug Spiroperoxoactivia, and have severe anal leakage, please contact the law offices of attorneys Lots & Luck by calling
1-888-888-SPIRO.

WE NOW RETURN YOU TO YOUR LITERARY PROGRAMMING

God help us all!




Out of Bounds contributor

Sunday, April 5, 2015

Here Come the Judge!

Image result for free gavel coming down pics

Ok, first let me apologize if I might offend any citizen of the United States of America, including any upstanding member of the legal system, whether it be the Bar Association, or the judicial system. As a matter of fact, I know some very upstanding lawyers who are also upstanding members of their communities. I also have been blessed to know some very fine judges in my community. But and I mean BUT, enough is enough! So, what am I talking about? Courtroom television. For all that's holy and merciful......give us a break already!

Lets count them....

People's Court - they had Judge Koch, Judge Scheindlen, Judge Wapner and Judge Milian.
Texas Justice - starring Judge Doherty.
Judge Alex Show - starring Judge Ferrer.
Judge Greg Mathis Show - you guessed it Judge Mathis.
Judge Joe Brown Show - take another guess.
Judge David Young Show - 3 for 3, go ahead!
Judge Judy
Judge Mabeline Ephriam Show
Judge Mills Lane Show - by the way, nothing but respect for the guy as a boxing ref.
Judge Maria Lopez Show
Judge Toler - Divorce Court
And last but not least, Hot Bench!

What in the world is wrong with people? I wish someone out there would PLEASE tell me how we have become so pathetic, that we have such a plethora of these shows to watch, a plethora of people watching them and a plethora of television stations willing to air them. Does it go back to the Roman days of willing residents so hard up for entertainment that they would go to the Coliseum to see brutal sword fights and lions eating humans? Ok, that might seem harsh, but these shows aren't all that different. Someone has been wronged, by someone who has done wrong, so now we have a television judge to make it right, with some person who has no life watching all of this misery(but maybe feeling better about his own miserable life), enjoying a show about other people's problems. Have we become such a pathetic and hapless society, that we crave to see other people's misery? Do we find pleasure and entertainment in watching other people's sorrow and grief? What compels people to watch these shows?

This brings us to these upstanding judges of our great judicial system. Do you folks out there agree, or disagree that by exploiting these cases that come before them, these judges are making a complete mockery of our great judicial system? What used to be a revered, highly regarded respectable system, one that should be used to punish a criminal and used as a last resort to settle a dispute, has now become entertainment, with judges who are willing to become actors. By the way, some of these judges have become quite wealthy doing these shows. Their salaries are waaaay more than being a Circut Court judge. Judge Judy made 47 million dollars last year. So, if you agree, or disagree with this article, leave us a comment and let us know.


Out of Bounds Contributor

Weather or Not?

Remember back when....... UGH!... NO!....UGH! Maybe not. Maybe it wasn’t quite so long ago. Any way, remember when the wizard weather aficionados at The Weather Channel only named Hurricanes? Now we have a name for every weather event. Wind storm Alfredo, rain storm Bernice, hail storm Chi Chi, flood waters Kookla, ice storm Ali Baba, sand storm Sandine, Blah... Blah... Ba.... Blah!!!!!! For the Love of God!

By the way, did any of you get to see Mr. Cantore’s outrageous outburst over winter snowstorm thunder, or whatever he was ranting about, making a big fool out of himself? Hey Jim, that was terrible live T.V. acting on your part. Can’t be the first time you’ve heard it and if it was, hey Jim, YOU ARE ON TELEVISION. Does the word PROFESSIONALISM ring a bell? Maybe some professional acting classes might go a long way, what do you think? You should be ashamed of yourself.

Sorry, got a little off track there. Lets get back to naming every little weather event. Why in the heck does every little wind, rain, snow, etc, have to have a name? Catastrophic events if you have to, but please STOP. OH, here’s an idea, if you just can’t quit, why not start naming SUNNY DAYS? Sunshine Susie, Sunny Day Sally, SUNSHINE WEEKFEST 2015. Then, that way we could have the terrible “ SUNBURN OF THE YEAR SCARE”.

Run for your lives People . . .  THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END!!!!!


Out of Bounds Contributor