Poke'mon NO!

As if people aren't on their cell phones enough, some ad wizard has to come up with the stupidest game, ok, stupidest nonsense of all time. People are actually going around on their phones looking for imaginary creatures and thinking they accomplished something when they find one. These people must have too much time on their hands. I was thinking of starting a new app called Cut JP's Grass, or better yet, Wash JP's Car. The app can give them a prize on their phone, or some sort of bogus score to make them feel good about themselves.

Some may say it is just a video game, the same as Tetris, or Super Mario Bros. with new technology. Those games didn't have people wandering around like fools, getting in car crashes, robbed, hurt and lost in the process. How about going outside and not being on your cellphone, going for a walk, or bike ride and interacting with someone and not an electronic device. This too is just another fad. Sure, it's probably summertime where you live, but soon the weather will get cold and wintertime will come, then you can kiss this Poke'mon game goodbye. How do I know this? Iv'e seen the people playing it. They won't be outside in the cold. By then, they'll be back indoors with a new Facebook app feeding their online fish. For me it's Poke'mon NO!

Adopt a Television Series

Imagine this for a moment if you will. It is Sunday night and you have your favorite snack in hand along with your favorite beverage of choice. You settle into your favorite chair, or sofa and reach for the remote to turn on the television. Oh, how you waited all week long for your favorite show. Finally a GREAT new REALITY TV SHOW that is worth watching. This show is about REAL people, no staged reality here, just pure true reality. No fake acting, no staged settings, no trained actors, nothing but REAL LIFE television. A television show about something that most, if not all people like and care about (NO, NOT THE KARDASHIANS). What I'm talking about here is a show about CUTE BABIES. You would think that everyone likes to see cute babies, right? Now not only is it about cute babies, it is about HAPPY ADULTS too. Who doesn't like to see happy adults? I know I do, and I'm betting after one episode you will be happy too.

So what is this show? This new series is called AMERICA ADOPTS. It is a television show about real adults adopting real babies, like I said NO FAKING IT HERE, just real people, real situations, real settings, real life. This is a show where TV helps disheartened adult couples who can't have children of their own and can't afford to adopt children have a child that they have always prayed for. What a beautiful show!

Do you know that the average cost in the United States to adopt a baby runs between $10,000 and $40,000 and up? Average cost to adopt from a foreign country can run anywhere from $15,000 to $30,000 and up. Now I don't know about you, but I don't think those costs are very conducive for a young couple just starting out in married life, to try to have a child through adoption. Let's say this couple are both working to save for this child, and both have decent employment, he is employed by GM and works for that GREAT starting wage of $14.00/hour and change, she works for her local government and makes that new starting wage of a whopping $10.00 an hour. Quite a while to save to be able to afford a child, given all of life's other obligations. BUT WAIT! PRESTO! Here comes ADOPT AMERICA television, a series that picks up the tab for adoption with all the advertising money, network money, donations from the generous AMERICAN PEOPLE who can afford it (maybe a PBS series) and even the GOOD OL' U.S. GOVERNMENT. With the help of all involved, who knows, maybe we can eventually wipe out children lingering in foster care. Just the thought of it, wish I was a TV mogul. AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL taking care of AMERICA'S MOST BEAUTIFUL. Look at the dollars paid to some of the supposed reality (PLEASE READ PHONY HERE) shows, House Wives this or that, Naked this or that, Honey you know who, Dr. Whomever, Jerry ? and Judge Your on the HOT seat.

What a BEAUTIFUL SHOW!

Back to reality though. I suppose if you look at some of these shows, reality is really UGLY. So, if there is any TELEVISION MOGUL out there reading this, please take a chance and make a dream for me a reality for some couples. I was fortunate to have two children of my own thirty plus years ago, and blessed with three beautiful grandchildren, so I know what a blessing it would be for those wanting to have a baby, but can't afford to adopt. Let's make adoption as simple as turning on the television and watching REAL REALITY TV.

Please leave a comment. Let me know if I'm the only one who feels like this, or if I'm out of touch with REALITY.

Thanks.

Out of Bounds Contributor

Ask Your Doctor About Spiroperoxoactivia Today!

Doctor: Hello, Nancy. How are you doing?
Nancy: Just fine, Doc. And you?
Doctor: Busy! What can we do for you today?
Nancy: I was wondering if you could prescribe that new drug, Spiroperonxoactivia?
Doctor: Okay. Why?
Nancy: Because I want to swim. I want to climb cliffs. I want to para sail. I want to cycle, bowl, play tennis, golf, dance, bungee jump, barbecue outdoors. You know, Doc...all that fun stuff.
Doctor: Ooookay, Nancy. Where did you hear about this drug?
Nancy: On TV. And uhh, I saw it in a magazine. Those people look like they are having quite a good time, Doc.
Doctor: Ooookay.
Nancy: Well, they said to ask your doctor.
Doctor: Ooookay.
Nancy: They also said, I should tell you if I have any gastrointestinal problems, bleeding ulcers, high blood pressure, coronary artery disease, cancer, TB, asthma, allergies, sore teeth, chronic pulmonary obstruction, or anal leakage.
Doctor: Ooookay.
Nancy: You know what else they said?
Doctor: Nooooo...

WE INTERRUPT THIS TALL TALE FOR AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE

Your local large chain drugstore is advertising wine and beer at state minimum pricing. No need to go to the drive thru or your local state liquor store anymore, they will not sell you any tobacco products because it's counterproductive to a healthy lifestyle. Saving you from the perils of lung cancer and all the dangers of smoking, but they have no problem helping you boil your liver. Thank you, giant drugstore chains, for looking out for us.

WE NOW RETURN YOU TO YOUR LITERARY PROGRAMMING

Nancy: They said this drug might cause coronary artery disease, high blood pressure, cancer, diabetes, dizziness, asthma, hypertension, nervousness, suicide, aching muscles, headaches, blindness, bleeding ulcers, Alzheimer's, it may cripple you, stroke, it might even kill you. But you know what, Doc?
Doctor: Noooo....
Nancy: It has to be worth it. Did you see what a great time those people are having?

WE INTERRUPT THIS TALL TALE FOR AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE

Do we really need a television commercial to tell us what we should ask our medical professional to prescribe for us? Isn't he the one who should suggest to us what we need? Isn't that why he went to medical school? Now we should maintain our right to say yes or no to a prescribed drug, but come on, tell the doctor if you have any preexisting ailments? Doesn't he already know your medical history? If not, FIND A NEW DOCTOR!

Remember tobacco ads? Now the government said those companies are not allowed to air them any longer. Man, they are saving lives by the minute. I know what you are thinking. And no, I do not smoke cigarettes. Do you know how many deaths there are from prescribed drugs, whether it be from the wrong prescription, or drug interaction with another drug, or drug overdose? The numbers might surprise you. Why should these drug companies be allowed to advertise? Do you feel inundated by the number of these ads they run on TV and in magazines? I mean, if anybody has the money to pay for these ads, Lord knows it is the drug companies. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Let us all get our government to put a stop to it.

WE INTERRUPT THIS IMPORTANT MESSAGE FOR ANOTHER IMPORTANT MESSAGE

If you should happen to become one of those unfortunate consumers of the drug Spiroperoxoactivia, and have severe anal leakage, please contact the law offices of attorneys Lots & Luck by calling
1-888-888-SPIRO.

WE NOW RETURN YOU TO YOUR LITERARY PROGRAMMING

God help us all!




Out of Bounds contributor

Here Come the Judge!

Ok, first let me apologize if I might offend any citizen of the United States of America, including any upstanding member of the legal system, whether it be the Bar Association, or the judicial system. As a matter of fact, I know some very upstanding lawyers who are also upstanding members of their communities. I also have been blessed to know some very fine judges in my community. But and I mean BUT, enough is enough! So, what am I talking about? Courtroom television. For all that's holy and merciful......give us a break already!

Lets count them....

People's Court - they had Judge Koch, Judge Scheindlen, Judge Wapner and Judge Milian.

Texas Justice - starring Judge Doherty.

Judge Alex Show - starring Judge Ferrer.

Judge Greg Mathis Show - you guessed it Judge Mathis.

Judge Joe Brown Show - take another guess.

Judge David Young Show - 3 for 3, go ahead!

Judge Judy
Judge Mabeline Ephriam Show

Judge Mills Lane Show - by the way, nothing but respect for the guy as a boxing ref.

Judge Maria Lopez Show

Judge Toler - Divorce Court

And last but not least, Hot Bench!

What in the world is wrong with people? I wish someone out there would PLEASE tell me how we have become so pathetic, that we have such a plethora of these shows to watch, a plethora of people watching them and a plethora of television stations willing to air them. Does it go back to the Roman days of willing residents so hard up for entertainment that they would go to the Coliseum to see brutal sword fights and lions eating humans? Ok, that might seem harsh, but these shows aren't all that different. Someone has been wronged, by someone who has done wrong, so now we have a television judge to make it right, with some person who has no life watching all of this misery(but maybe feeling better about his own miserable life), enjoying a show about other people's problems. Have we become such a pathetic and hapless society, that we crave to see other people's misery? Do we find pleasure and entertainment in watching other people's sorrow and grief? What compels people to watch these shows?

This brings us to these upstanding judges of our great judicial system. Do you folks out there agree, or disagree that by exploiting these cases that come before them, these judges are making a complete mockery of our great judicial system? What used to be a revered, highly regarded respectable system, one that should be used to punish a criminal and used as a last resort to settle a dispute, has now become entertainment, with judges who are willing to become actors. By the way, some of these judges have become quite wealthy doing these shows. Their salaries are waaaay more than being a Circut Court judge. Judge Judy made 47 million dollars last year. So, if you agree, or disagree with this article, leave us a comment and let us know.

Out of Bounds Contributor

Weather or Not?

Remember back when....... UGH!... NO!....UGH! Maybe not. Maybe it wasn’t quite so long ago. Any way, remember when the wizard weather aficionados at The Weather Channel only named Hurricanes? Now we have a name for every weather event. Wind storm Alfredo, rain storm Bernice, hail storm Chi Chi, flood waters Kookla, ice storm Ali Baba, sand storm Sandine, Blah... Blah... Ba.... Blah!!!!!! For the Love of God!

By the way, did any of you get to see Mr. Cantore’s outrageous outburst over winter snowstorm thunder, or whatever he was ranting about, making a big fool out of himself? Hey Jim, that was terrible live T.V. acting on your part. Can’t be the first time you’ve heard it and if it was, hey Jim, YOU ARE ON TELEVISION. Does the word PROFESSIONALISM ring a bell? Maybe some professional acting classes might go a long way, what do you think? You should be ashamed of yourself.

Sorry, got a little off track there. Lets get back to naming every little weather event. Why in the heck does every little wind, rain, snow, etc, have to have a name? Catastrophic events if you have to, but please STOP. OH, here’s an idea, if you just can’t quit, why not start naming SUNNY DAYS? Sunshine Susie, Sunny Day Sally, SUNSHINE WEEKFEST 2015. Then, that way we could have the terrible “ SUNBURN OF THE YEAR SCARE”.

Run for your lives People . . .  THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END!!!!!


Out of Bounds Contributor                            

Which Line Will You Choose?

I was in the grocery store the other day, to pick up some dessert to enjoy after Sunday dinner. Have you taken a look at the conveyor belt at the checkout counter lately? Ever notice the spots and stains and nasty wet slimy spots going around? The same wet spots that you put down your cereal, milk, bananas and any other items that come home and go into your refrigerators, cabinets, or on your counter tops. Talk about gross. Studies show that there all all kinds of germs, viruses and microorganisms lurking on those conveyor belts. Do they ever wipe them, or sanitize them? I've never seen it. Who knows what we can catch from those checkout lines! It makes me want to douse my items in hand sanitizer, or Lysol when I get home.

We have no choice but to let our items run down the counter, soaking in the slime and bacteria. Unless, you want to go through the self checkout. I refuse to do that though. As a famous comedian once said, if I wanted to check myself out, I would get a job at the store. One day, we will have no other choice. The whole store will be automated and the poor humans working there will be out of a job. And try to use cash....forget it. You will HAVE TO use a credit, or debit card. That's what the world is coming to. Until then, I'll have to take my chances letting my items get pulled down the conveyor in all of the raw chicken juice and whatever other swill is splashing around on those conveyor belts. I guess it hasn't killed me yet. The next time you're in the grocery store, see for yourself. If you're grossed out, leave a comment. Let us know which line you chose.

JP

Cure for Cancer? Fuel from Saltwater?

This guy may have the answers. The question is, will he end up like the rest of the inventors out there who have been squashed by the powers that be? We have the technologies and resources to do anything, yet we are being held back. Why? Money, power and control. I wonder how long it will take before this gentleman thinks he is selling his invention to help, then finds out it is never used by whatever big corporation that buys it?

JP